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How to Procrastinate like a Professional

I know the title will get people to turn away but hey I am here to help you. Any other student would tell you DO NOT PROCRASTINATE and I would fall along those lines do not procrastinate. On the other hand, there is life and it is really mean to us, for example, I have two jobs, school, and part-time coaching. I don’t mind having such a busy schedule but sometimes deadlines slip by my mind once in a while (all the time). All students procrastinate whether they like it or not, so here is a guide if you do find yourself procrastinating to get all your classwork done.

Step one: Throw your phone in the trash, toilet, into traffic, or anywhere you would not touch it.

This step is so you do not accidentally go onto a three-hour twitter stroll, or on a YouTube binge starting on music for the background to watching Gordan Ramsey calling people an idiot sandwich.

Step two: Make sure you have a snack

This step is all so important. You do not want to be like Patrick here, I say this because we all have gotten those bored hungers. If you do not have a snack next to you, you will leave your work and go start snacking on something or go see if something new popped into the fridge from 10 minutes ago. If you have a snack next to you, you force yourself to sit down and get your work done. So yes make sure you have a snack by your side.

Step two and a half: also make sure you have a drink as well

If you do not have a drink next to you, you have an excuse to get away from work because your mouth is dry from your snack. Just make sure you have a glass of water or maybe a energy drink if it is a late night study session.

Step three (if earned): Take a short break

While writing this I myself took a short ten-minute break I thought I earned it. I got all the way to the third step *high fives oneself*. I feel like without giving yourself the little break you tend to think more about stopping and less about the quality of work you put out, and around this parts an of town partner we only accept high-quality work.

Final step: Turn in your work

You should be happy you finished your work but now think about this how much better would your work be if it was done a day earlier or maybe if you are just that good a week earlier.

Final thoughts

While writing this I took several breaks not exactly what I said to do in the steps but I got it done. I did not throw my phone at a wall and that was a mistake because I kept looking at it as if it would write the paper for me or as if it was calling my name. I got up about twice looking into the fridge and once getting a drink, this just goes to show that I know what I am talking about from first-hand experience. Some advice overall do not procrastinate because procrastinating leads to a lot of negative things, especially for mental health. I hope this helped you write your paper in less than a couple days.


NOTE: THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG ARE NOT USING THIS TO ENCOURAGE PROCRASTINATION. This post is a satirical post and can be used as a tool to see if you have been procrastinating.


Victor Sanchez, Jr. , Sophomore

Orientation Leader

Hometown: Las Vegas, NV

High School: East Career and Technical Academy

Major: Hospitality

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